So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
