Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
