You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
