you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize