we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
