I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
