i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
