Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
