they need to just BURY HIM!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
