I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
