Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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