I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And my parents said I crawled through the house
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
