If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
