I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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