you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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