TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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