maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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