i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
