i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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