My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
