Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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