Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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