Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
