butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
