the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
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Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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