but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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