trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
