hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
