when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
