ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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