Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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