I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize