Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
