my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
