their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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