How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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