Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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