shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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