I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
