Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
