the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
