he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
