It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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