Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
