I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
