someone get that fucking seahorse.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
