Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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