ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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