so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
