That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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