I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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