Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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