Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
