even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
