found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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