I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
