these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
