If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
