Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
