At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
