oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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