Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
People in love make me want to vomit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We need to get me chipped asap
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
