Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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