another moral hangover. fuck.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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