i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
