wat bout pragnant strippers??
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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