I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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