I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
